losar tashi delek

Losar_Card_Firedo
Originally uploaded by jessalauren.

happy tibetan new year, everyone! it is the year of the fire dog, so i wish you all peace, happiness, joy and all those lovely, lovely things!

it took four hours...

from feb 25: 'they are out now checking up on a couple places. there is a two bedroom above a hardware store that closes at 6pm that's a lot cheaper than the one we are taking now, but i know it's going to be a dump.'

well, it turns out it isn't a dump and i am holding the keys in my hand right now.

and one funny aside

the last time i worked it was pretty slow at lunch. it was just lou, james and i with a lot of time to hash out the latest dirt, so to speak. well, no...really, it was james and i talking at the bar and lou was running back and forth from the kitchen saying 'i can't talk about this anymore. i can't do this anymore', so i knew it was going to be about sam and i knew that he had been in every night that entire week, driving lou insane.

so that turned out to be the case; for some reason, sam has been coming in every night just to bark at people and now he wants his own key to the front door (i just find it funny that he's the owner and they won't let him have a key). james told me that the last time he had a key, he would come in at 7am and sprinkle bread flour all over the floor just to complain that the floor wasn't cleaned the night before. apparently one time, james said he measured a full cup of flour in the morning, even though he personally cleaned the night earlier.

so james said: fine, we'll give him a key, but we are changing the alarm code so that when he comes in at 7am he will wake up the entire neighbourhood. so we are going to set up a little camera and record the whole thing and james said whenever the staff morale get's low, we can play it in the kitchen for everyone to watch. if only we would (i really think he should - alarms are supposed to keep people out of places when they aren't supposed to be there. but, i can see how the camera thing and the laughing thing and the 'maybe it'll give him a heart attack' thing might take a toll on our karma).

a little northeast

so we saw the place. i was ready just to take it when i heard there was a kitchen. there is a pear tree in the backyard and a kitchen! and it's big and we have a private walkout patio on the second floor. and there is a kitchen. did i mention that there were windows? there was a window in the kitchen...yes! there is a kitchen and there was a window in the first bedroom and you wouldn't believe it: the bedroom has a closet.

it's right in the juction. well, no it's not...they call it junction gardens now because the juction is confined to the little triangle with all the trains, but our old family friend lives right across the street and my old best friend's house (now just her grandmother lives there) is three houses up. it's strange. so it is 0.8 km from my old house and a 2.5 km walk to work (if i don't bus it).

they are doing the renovations now, so everything is going to be brand new. and yes, it is right by the train tracks. i can hear the trains at night from our house now, i can only imagine how loud it's going to be in the middle of the night right beside them, but it's perfect for me because i love stuff like that. well, at least that's what i'm telling myself now. i have always loved living somewhere that's noisy at night, because there is nothing more lonely than thinking you are the only person awake in the entire world when it seems like everyone else can fall asleep except you. this might be a big plus for my insomnia. there is also a special meditation technique that takes advantage of really loud and annoying noises that i might have to master in the coming months.

still, ryan's mom wants to be really involved now, so they are out now checking up on a couple places. there is a two bedroom above a hardware store that closes at 6pm that's a lot cheaper than the one we are taking now, but i know it's going to be a dump. it might not, but it's just nice to know that we have a place for the taking and mike really, really wants us (specifically) to move in.

now if we can't make rent, i can tell him it's because he doesn't tip me out enough (and that's the truth).

read this, mf

so reading week has come and gone, and although i haven't done as much homework as i was hoping to (which stands to be the norm), i did get to do a lot of fun things that i don't normally do. thursday i went down to the AGO and we got in for free because of all the renovations.

i also went to see the goblet of fire at the imax with mom on friday night after i got off of work. as an interesting (to me anyway) aside: the health inspector was in that day at work because there was an annonymous customer complaint having something to do with getting sick from smoked chicken ravioli. lou flipped because he figured it was one of the neighbours who are in on the legal disputes about extending the patio hours...phew. anyway, we were clean. i sneaked over to james and i said: hey who's that guy? oh, that's the health inspector.

i just stayed by the bar and washed my hands over and over until he left. can't go wrong with that...well, actually you can: if you turn the tap off without using the discarded paper towel that you used to dry your hands, but i think it's bad to leave the tap running the whole time you are finding the paper towel, drying your hands....i won't do it, i'm sorry.

other than that, (which i realize now, aren't very good and vibrant descriptions of the events in my life) i am sick for the first time in two years (which might have something to do with the tap thing), but in a way that's a little comforting. i used to spend all winter with a cold, but it just suddenly stopped (when i stopped eating dairy) and i kind of forgot what neocitron tasted like. but it has definietly taken a toll on my ability to edit blog posts, let alone write them.

so dizzy and sleepy today.
must go.
light is fading.

i'm sorry, i will probably delete this and write one later, i just mainly wanted to say hi to everyone. hope you are having a nice sunday and it isn't as ass-bitingly cold as it is here.

oh, but i almost forgot. ryan is going to see the apartment on monday and we get to choose which one we want, negotiate a price and pick paint colours. i can't go with him (he's bringing the camera) but i told him to take the one with the patio. mike was saying: don't get too excited until you see the place. i said i would take it because there is a kitchen and i can stretch my arms above my head.

(but on top of that: all new appliances and all newly renovated. he renovated the upstairs apartment and designed it, thinking that he was going to be moving in there.)

he said if we wanted it march 1 we could take it or if we needed more time, we could take it in april. oh and then he called me dude, because some 40-something kept calling him dude and then he started calling everyone dude and by the time the night was over, everyone was doing it.

post-valentino

nosferatu
Originally uploaded by jessalauren.

everyone in bloor west village thought that they had a clever and original idea to do dinner the day after valentine's day instead of meeting the craziness head-on with everyone else. well is it my fault that everyone had that idea at the same time and you want a table but didn't make a reservation?

is it? is it me...personally? well then, why are you glaring at me like that?

oh, and now james started calling me petunia and lou says that he wants me to start cooking in the kitchen with him...i laughed so loud that i made everyone at the restaurant blink at the same time (ok, i don't know if that really happened, but i'm tired and my writing isn't making much sense right now).

so of course we are slammed...had to open both floors and it was only the three of us. perfect time for sam to walk in and go back and forth between staring at lou while he's cooking and staring at me while i'm polishing cutlery. i think he's desperate because there aren't any blond girls left working at the restaurant (he really likes the blond ones) and i 'win' by default. he is such a creep.

peaceable kingdom

tarslogo
Originally uploaded by jessalauren.

on thursday (feb 16) tars is having a free screening of PEACEABLE KINGDOM, one of the most well-known documentaries in the animal rights circuit.

"this movie tells the story of FARM SANCTUARY, the animals they rescue, and the changes in perception that those who visit FARM SANCTUARY experience."

it's free and it's at 7:30 (until 8:50 - followed by q/a's).

if you are interested, its being held at the ontario institute for studies in education which is 252 bloor street west (above st george station)...room 213.

if you aren't interested, please pass the word on to a friend. apparently, they are desperate for volunteers at the moment.

love not blood

candyheartsbanner
Originally uploaded by jessalauren.

From Greenpeace Ocean's Campaigner, John Hocevar:

We had a very special treat for the CEO of Gorton's today. We also had a very special activist to deliver it. Alexandra Weinstein, a 17 year-old whale-lover who recently hosted one of our whale watching parties, showed up at the doorstep of Gorton's with a Valentine's Day message for CEO Steve Warhover: "have a heart - stop whaling." She gave Mr. Warhover a bag of candy hearts filled with these sweet messages - 3,635 of them as a matter of fact - one for each whale slaughtered since Gorton's has been in the whaling business. I wish I could say she won him over, but Gorton's is still refusing to have a heart - even on Valentine's Day.

Take Action!

Don't let Alexandra have all of the fun. You can deliver your own valentine e-card to Gorton's.

the day i altered reality

i just thought i would share a strange story with you that i know at least one specific reader will appreciate:

as a running joke, ryan always asks me to 'keep the light green' (meaning traffic lights) and it always works, but that's just the joke...but last night, i had this feeling that i was really doing it...and the minute that i believed i was doing it, the flashing red hand turned BACK into the little white walk sign.

of course, ryan thought it was weird, but of course he doesn't think that i did it...but i had a headache in my hindbrain after for like ten minutes...

i think this is genetic, because one of my nephews shares this uncanny ability.

ok, now you all think i'm crazy...but they never turn back to the walk sign! it's yellow flashing hand, then full flashing hand, not yellow flashing hand then little white walking guy!

fine. forget it.

'reading'

aboutcollage
Originally uploaded by jessalauren.

i didn't exactly tell my work that i wasn't on reading week, but i didn't tell them that i was either. so i might be back in the bad books when they ask me next week when my break is, but it won't take me long to get back on the good side of things.

the great news is that i went to body worlds yesterday at the science center and it was probably the coolest thing i have ever seen...especially the central nervous system all laid out...i could feel all the nerves pinching in my shoulders ha ha. yep, and i picked up a liver!

i would have lovely photos to share with you, if i was allowed. see, i'm not a true photographer because i am just not willing to get kicked out of a place as cool as that to get some up-close and personal pictures of dissected kidneys, where my uncle, on the other hand, just spent the last six weeks in india getting kicked out of all sorts of cool places - you should see the pictures he has. some of them involve smouldering piles of cremation.

anyway, lots and lots of fun!

valentine

i hope everyone has a wonderful valentine's day: someone loves you even if you don't know it.

and nanny, you are truly missed.

a restaurant horror story

nosferatuf
Originally uploaded by jessalauren.

so i don't know what kind of drugs 'the owner' is on, but basically he gets off on coming into the cafe when he knows it's busy, just to bitch at people and to call his prostitute on saturday nights.

so tonight, he starts by telling everyone that they have to cut their hair (even though ryan and james both just had haircuts). that's normal.

but it escaltes; he doesn't want the kitchen staff to get two meals anymore, even though their shifts are twelve hours long and they aren't allowed to take breaks to go and buy food. you don't know how many people quit last year because of shift meal dilemmas. we have to sneak them out the backdoor now...anyway. he started fighting with james at around 7:30 and whenever james was occupied, he would go fight with tony.

then he came upstairs where i was working with mike and alain and he just stared off into space for about a half an hour. every so often, he would go to the phone so he could try to hook up with his prostitute and you could tell that she wasn't going to have him tonight. so then we all went back into the kitchen to talk about what a total freak he was and we could totally hear him behind the door listening to what we were saying.

after this, he goes back downstairs and i think he's gone, but a few minutes later, i walk by the window and he's just standing in the middle of the road outside - glaring at me! i had to ask ryan to look out and see if it was really him because a) i thought i was crazy and b) it was just the most terrifying face i have ever seen him make that i couldn't face to look out again.

anyway, now there's this big secret plan going down and i think the restaurant might really get split up because certain people are looking at certain property and might be leaving and taking certain people with them...shhh...but it's going to be really funny because all night, we were trying to figure out the funniest ways we could quit.

no home

i'm housesitting again.
my answering machine will be happy to take your calls and i will (surprise!) also be carrying my cell - i swear i am going to make an effort this time, really, to start using it.

more hawks

i had to go up to york today and the second i get there, i saw two more redtail hawks. i see them wherever i go now. i think it's because we are having such a warm winter.

yeah, yeah, yeah...i know you are sick of the hawks by now, but they have become a bit of an obsession.

that was easy.

we found a roommate!
so now i get to live with two stinky guys instead of two crazy people.
reminds me of 'move on up' by curtis mayfield.

but i think people are forgetting about my punk roots - or maybe i am, so i have to go work on a playlist now.

sleepy

blasted library! first i get kicked out for bringing in coffee and then i go back to find a periodical that apparently doesn't exist. then there were my overdue charges and i had no clue as to what they would be. they cut off your privileges when you get to $25 and i was at $24. i felt like a loser (the guy was giving me dirty looks because my receipt took at least a full minute to print out and all i could think of was all the paper that i was wasting because i couldn't carry six psych books to school at once) and i am broke, so it was doubly lame.

here i go on the rant! see what happens when i'm tired!

i needed to go home after school because i needed to take a nap, but to no avail. what used to be busey and the bureaucrats (who used to be technikill) and is now...well, busey minus dan having band practice in the next room. (or maybe dan was busey - so they are just the bureaucrats).

anyway, don't get me wrong, you guys! you are still my favorite band (whatever your name is); you just better put me in your liner notes for this.

anyway, dinner with bob resulted in me finding out a few things about my father that i thought i was prepared for but wasn't. and i find that as much as i want to talk about it, i just can't bring myself to do it - here anyway. so thank you, jody! i love you so much because you say all the things that i want to say, but i can't bring myself to say them; i hope that sounded right! i just mean that i admire you because you aren't afraid to cut to the bone and you totally validate all of the feelings that i feel guilty for having. but now i feel like a sad sack because all i have been doing is complaining!

but here is some more complaining: i found out that mike already rented out the apartment i wanted. there are still two floors that i can choose from, but they are out of my price range. he said he would wait for me to figure out if i could find a roommate, but i only have three weeks. he also said that if i could pay him in cash, we might be able to figure something out, so if it is, it is. he even said that if i take it, i can come in and pick all the colours that i wanted and everything!

can i just ask why everything has to happen all at once? but the more things change and the more unstable and terrifying it gets, the more freedom i experience. and i realized something a few days ago that i find i have to keep telling myself over and over again: life doesn't happen to you, you happen to life. if we think about things in this way, it is not my life/your life: it's LIFE and it must be engaged. it's something we all share and when we approach things in a certain way, it could mean taking some life away from someone else or ignoring their participation in life altogether.

wow, i can be incoherent when i am tired.

but there are wonderful things that are happening too; all over the place, wonderful things are happening and all you need to do is open your eyes to them.

there and back again

inventory.
one highlight: lou had two containers of pecans; one good, one bad. dumps one into the garbage and then realizes that it was the good batch. so now he's eating pecans out of the garbage.
'no! they're really good!' thanks. i'll take your word for it.

then frances came in; it's so strange when you think of someone you haven't seen in a long, long time and - there they are! we talked about books, which i like and she is so generous (and morbid) that she doesn't lend books, she just gives them to you: she always says that she is going to die soon anyway, so why should they go to waste. she's only 65! but we love the same books, except she is british, so she recommends more of the ian mcewan stuff and less of the hemingway, if you know what i mean. personally, i love ian mcewan, so we get along just fine.

i wish i had more time to read. i mean i am reading a lot, but i am supposed to be honing my creative writing skills and william james doesn't really help you with character development. ok, i take that back: he does; but quine doesn't! he just doesn't.

anyway, james is a thing of the past and i have rorty and putnam to deal with, this semester.

so i have to go back to the cafe tonight; not to work, but i'm meeting bob and svitlana and they are going to show me a bunch of pictures from their trip to india. i'm excited because it was the first time i made a reservation at a restaurant before. i know i work there and i could have just told them, but i really wanted to write it in the book...and put stars all around my name, okay? is that so wrong?

i have to go because i have an unbearable amount of reading to do that probably won't get done and i know i'm going to get picked out again in class because i just send out that vibe. maybe it is the unintentional anti-beam. can we work on that one guys? maybe it's like when dogs smell your fear.

here are two more.

first: looking straight at me
second: ready to fly off.

these pictures aren't great, but these trees are gigantic.

more to come.

this is my hawk...well, the hawk that i have become aquainted with. it was the last day housesitting and i was positive that i wouldn't see her (i think it's a female), but i went outside and she was on the lowest branch of the tree.

the pictures are a bit blurry, but that's because i had to blow them up from flickr.

there's more pictures and i will post them, but i have to crop/sharpen them a bit first.